Just wanted to share this hymn with all of you. This is my refrain as I go through these trials God has seen fit to bring me through.
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to know,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
It is well with my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
It is well with my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!—
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
It is well with my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
It is well with my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
It is well with my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
A song in the night, oh my soul!.
It is well with my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Friday, December 19, 2014
“If God has shown us bad times ahead, it's enough for me that He knows
about them. That's why He sometimes shows us things, you know -- to tell
us that this too is in His hands.”
― Corrie ten Boom, The Hiding Place
― Corrie ten Boom, The Hiding Place
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Sunday, November 23, 2014
Thoughts on How to Respond to People
"And while He was being accused by the chief priests and elders, He
did not answer. Then Pilate said to Him, 'Do You not hear how many
things they testify against You?' And He did not answer him with regard
to even a single charge, so the governor was quite amazed." --Matthew
27:12-14
In our culture, we are taught to not let anyone put us down; we're taught to stand up for ourselves. Jesus didn't. He was "meek and lowly of heart," and we are to learn from Him (Matthew 11:29). Can I still my tongue when people don't tell me what I want to hear? If they accuse me falsely, or if they gossip about me, can I keep from retaliating? If I do answer them, I may only make myself worse or more guilty in their eyes.
In our culture, we are taught to not let anyone put us down; we're taught to stand up for ourselves. Jesus didn't. He was "meek and lowly of heart," and we are to learn from Him (Matthew 11:29). Can I still my tongue when people don't tell me what I want to hear? If they accuse me falsely, or if they gossip about me, can I keep from retaliating? If I do answer them, I may only make myself worse or more guilty in their eyes.
King
David's response was, "You have seen it, O Lord, do not keep silent. O
Lord, do not be far from me. Stir up Yourself, and awake to my right and
to my cause, my God and my Lord. Judge me, O Lord my God, according to
Your righteousness, and do not let them rejoice over me." --Psalm
35:22-24
He trusted God. He allowed God to bring the truth to light, and asked God to be his judge. I want that to be my response in life, because things are bound to come up. What matters most is not what is said of me, but of my response to it.
He trusted God. He allowed God to bring the truth to light, and asked God to be his judge. I want that to be my response in life, because things are bound to come up. What matters most is not what is said of me, but of my response to it.
Monday, November 17, 2014
Dear Life,
It's okay with me if you settle down now. I have enough trials to learn from at the moment.
Sincerely,
~Me.
I know I haven't been posting, but things have just been overwhelming lately. Just trying to trust and seek God through it all. "You need not fight in this battle; station yourselves, stand and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem.’ Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out to face them, for the Lord is with you.” --2 Chronicles 20:17
And that's all, folks.
It's okay with me if you settle down now. I have enough trials to learn from at the moment.
Sincerely,
~Me.
I know I haven't been posting, but things have just been overwhelming lately. Just trying to trust and seek God through it all. "You need not fight in this battle; station yourselves, stand and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem.’ Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out to face them, for the Lord is with you.” --2 Chronicles 20:17
And that's all, folks.
Thursday, November 6, 2014
He Knows my Name
These past two weeks have been kind of crazy. I've been feeling like a certain person whom I love dearly has a low view of my capabilities and that she has been critical of what I say and do; nothing is good enough for her.
Tonight it occurred to me that maybe I just have an inflated view of myself, and her corrections have bothered me because I don't think I'm that bad. Oh, the flesh is so vain and self-deceiving!
I discovered a song tonight that I really like; it's not the sort I'm usually into. It's called "He Knows My Name", by Francesca Battistelli. Here is the chorus of the song:
"True to who You are,
You saw my heart
and made
something out of nothing.
I don't need my name in lights;
I'm famous in my Father's eyes.
Make no mistake,
He knows my name.
I'm not living for applause;
I'm already so adored.
It's all His stage,
He knows my name."
In the first stanza, I love how it points to God's character. He is the one who takes nothing (me) and makes something that can bring Him glory. I can't change or better myself; only He can.
The second stanza makes me realize that I don't need to be thought highly of, because in reality, I CAN'T do anything by myself. My capabilities really aren't that great; my friend is actually overestimating them. I should not be injured by her expectations of me. I should not strive to be praised by her, or anyone else. He knows my name, and that should be enough honor for me.
Tonight it occurred to me that maybe I just have an inflated view of myself, and her corrections have bothered me because I don't think I'm that bad. Oh, the flesh is so vain and self-deceiving!
I discovered a song tonight that I really like; it's not the sort I'm usually into. It's called "He Knows My Name", by Francesca Battistelli. Here is the chorus of the song:
"True to who You are,
You saw my heart
and made
something out of nothing.
I don't need my name in lights;
I'm famous in my Father's eyes.
Make no mistake,
He knows my name.
I'm not living for applause;
I'm already so adored.
It's all His stage,
He knows my name."
In the first stanza, I love how it points to God's character. He is the one who takes nothing (me) and makes something that can bring Him glory. I can't change or better myself; only He can.
The second stanza makes me realize that I don't need to be thought highly of, because in reality, I CAN'T do anything by myself. My capabilities really aren't that great; my friend is actually overestimating them. I should not be injured by her expectations of me. I should not strive to be praised by her, or anyone else. He knows my name, and that should be enough honor for me.
Sunday, October 26, 2014
I Looked in His Eyes
Burdened with guilt and failure,
I hung my head with shame.
He stood before me,
the judge of all my crimes.
I knew I was at fault;
there was no hope for me.
I cringed, expecting the just words
of condemnation.
He touched His hand
to my cheek and
lifted my chin so
I could gaze at Him.
I looked in His eyes,
and my shame and fear
melted away, lost in the depths
of the eyes of Love Himself.
His smile lit up the room
and my heart as well.
He gathered me in His arms,
and whispered these words to me.
"Well done, my faithful one.
Fear nothing, my daughter."
I knew all was well
when I looked in His eyes.
I hung my head with shame.
He stood before me,
the judge of all my crimes.
I knew I was at fault;
there was no hope for me.
I cringed, expecting the just words
of condemnation.
He touched His hand
to my cheek and
lifted my chin so
I could gaze at Him.
I looked in His eyes,
and my shame and fear
melted away, lost in the depths
of the eyes of Love Himself.
His smile lit up the room
and my heart as well.
He gathered me in His arms,
and whispered these words to me.
"Well done, my faithful one.
Fear nothing, my daughter."
I knew all was well
when I looked in His eyes.
Sunday, October 19, 2014
How Deep the Father's Love
"What man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!" --Matthew 7:9-11
My father doesn't quite fit this verse; he doesn't know how to give good gifts to his children. He will buy things for us that he thinks we'll like-- without knowing what we do like-- but he never gives us the gifts that we REALLY want; his affection, attention, and approval. His eyes do not look on us with love, but with scorn.
It is very hard to love a man like that. It's been hard to think of God as a loving Father, because I have no model for that. In my experience, a father is someone to be feared and avoided. A father is someone you try to speak to as little as possible for fear of enraging him.
I read a blog post recently about a child in the foster system (you can read it here). There was one part in particular that caught my attention
"And he wants to impress them, these strangers. He wants to win them over, and so he brings his good report card along as tangible proof that he is a child worth loving.
A child should never have to prove they are worth loving."
I've felt that way. It's really quite terrible. There's so much hope that is overshadowed by the fear of rejection. You have to wonder, "If my parents couldn't love me, how could anyone else possibly do so?" We were created by God to desire fellowship. There's a natural inclination to the family bond. Though my father is such a harsh and cold man, I strive to earn his approval; I strive to prove to him that I am worth loving. It hurts every single time.
I love Romans 8:15-16, "For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father!" The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children." There's a contrast here; the spirit of bondage and fear, and the Spirit of sonship that makes us God's children. To be a child of God is to be rid of fear and bondage. The Bible says that God is perfect, and that God is love. "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love." (1 John 4:18)
"See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and that is what we are!" --1 John 3:1 My heavenly Father is different from my earthly father. He is not a bigger version of my dad; that would be very bad for me. He is the perfect version of my dad, full of love and grace. He loves and cares for me. How incredible is He, that He would welcome me into His arms!!
My father doesn't quite fit this verse; he doesn't know how to give good gifts to his children. He will buy things for us that he thinks we'll like-- without knowing what we do like-- but he never gives us the gifts that we REALLY want; his affection, attention, and approval. His eyes do not look on us with love, but with scorn.
It is very hard to love a man like that. It's been hard to think of God as a loving Father, because I have no model for that. In my experience, a father is someone to be feared and avoided. A father is someone you try to speak to as little as possible for fear of enraging him.
I read a blog post recently about a child in the foster system (you can read it here). There was one part in particular that caught my attention
"And he wants to impress them, these strangers. He wants to win them over, and so he brings his good report card along as tangible proof that he is a child worth loving.
A child should never have to prove they are worth loving."
I've felt that way. It's really quite terrible. There's so much hope that is overshadowed by the fear of rejection. You have to wonder, "If my parents couldn't love me, how could anyone else possibly do so?" We were created by God to desire fellowship. There's a natural inclination to the family bond. Though my father is such a harsh and cold man, I strive to earn his approval; I strive to prove to him that I am worth loving. It hurts every single time.
I love Romans 8:15-16, "For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father!" The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children." There's a contrast here; the spirit of bondage and fear, and the Spirit of sonship that makes us God's children. To be a child of God is to be rid of fear and bondage. The Bible says that God is perfect, and that God is love. "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love." (1 John 4:18)
"See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and that is what we are!" --1 John 3:1 My heavenly Father is different from my earthly father. He is not a bigger version of my dad; that would be very bad for me. He is the perfect version of my dad, full of love and grace. He loves and cares for me. How incredible is He, that He would welcome me into His arms!!
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
I found a journal of mine today from early 2011. I was 13 at the
time, and a lot of the entries surprised me with their level of
immaturity. One entry that I read made me cry, though.
It began by telling about the day, which had started off okay and then hadn't gone well. This is the part that hit me:
"Then I went into the bathroom to wash my face. And I almost started crying again. The face staring back at me in the mirror was swollen and red, the eyes rimmed with black. THIS is the person God has great plans for?!? This crying, bloated face is the one everyone says is always smiling and beautiful?!
It began by telling about the day, which had started off okay and then hadn't gone well. This is the part that hit me:
"Then I went into the bathroom to wash my face. And I almost started crying again. The face staring back at me in the mirror was swollen and red, the eyes rimmed with black. THIS is the person God has great plans for?!? This crying, bloated face is the one everyone says is always smiling and beautiful?!
This wretched, ugly person could not be one of God's children."
I was certainly convinced of this at the time. God is perfect, spotless, and holy, right? He couldn't have me around, making Him look bad. The pretty, popular girls at school had taught me that lesson: don't try to mingle with those greater than you.
Looking back, my heart aches for that lonely, down-trodden girl. I know now that because of Jesus, my ugliness has been removed, to be replaced by His righteousness. I can stand with God, and He can call me His own, because He doesn't see me anymore. He sees Himself in me.
Yes, God has plans for the one with the red face soaked in tears. He has plans for the one with scars crossing the body. He has plans for the wretched one. He delights in taking what is broken and putting it back together, then putting it on display: "THIS is who I have made, and I am well pleased."
You can choose to follow your plans or to follow God's plans. One will leave you broken and hopeless; the other leads to restoration and life. Which will you choose?
I was certainly convinced of this at the time. God is perfect, spotless, and holy, right? He couldn't have me around, making Him look bad. The pretty, popular girls at school had taught me that lesson: don't try to mingle with those greater than you.
Looking back, my heart aches for that lonely, down-trodden girl. I know now that because of Jesus, my ugliness has been removed, to be replaced by His righteousness. I can stand with God, and He can call me His own, because He doesn't see me anymore. He sees Himself in me.
Yes, God has plans for the one with the red face soaked in tears. He has plans for the one with scars crossing the body. He has plans for the wretched one. He delights in taking what is broken and putting it back together, then putting it on display: "THIS is who I have made, and I am well pleased."
You can choose to follow your plans or to follow God's plans. One will leave you broken and hopeless; the other leads to restoration and life. Which will you choose?
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